


i still love you madly

by coballoways



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: F/M, New Years party, This is trash, but happy new year, its 2019 and I’m still incantava trash, slight fedeva but they don’t do anything at all lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 21:28:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17251697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coballoways/pseuds/coballoways
Summary: eleonora tried , she really did, but edoardo incanti won’t leave her mind.basically a New Years party incantava that could have happened but l*do left us high and dry in the middle of a drought.





	i still love you madly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my crackheads](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+crackheads).



> so this is for the wtfock crackheads gc , ily you crackies till the end of time hopefully it’s good enough to feed you till March and don’t worry there is at least 6 1.2k word drafts for you guys.

all she wanted to do was go home.

 

home to her bed . her room .

 

away from the grinding bodies off beat with the loud music.

 

she knew this wasn’t her scene but since she’s only been back for a little while and so close to the new year, the girls wanted to have some fun like old times.

 

so they dragged her to a party till they all got separated from each other for a specific reason.

 

as she scanned the room , the first girl she spotted was silvia.

 

making out with elia. the elia santini.

 

he might not seem like a good guy to some but ele has come to notice he’s perfect for silvia.

 

one might ask how they became a couple and it started when they met at the therapist office in the city.

 

silvia took her mother and bumped into elia while in the cafeteria.

 

he was making some hot chocolate for his little sister when silvia reached over to get the sugar , spilling the hot drink all over the poor guy.

 

silvia describes it as one of those moments in those american movies when the girl hurriedly wipes the spill they caused on the guy and then they look at each other and it all falls into place.

 

they started hanging out frequently and soon silvia’s phone was always blowing up with sweet messages from elia.

 

from the cheesiest things like “ you look cute when you blush” to the reminders to silvia that she is enough and she should know that.

 

elia has helped silvia immensely with her body image issues and no one can lie they were ridiculously cute.

 

she was truly happy for her but her conscience teased her saying eleonora was happy that silvia no longer pined after the curly haired jerk that has been clouding her thoughts lately.

 

she shook her head hoping those thoughts would disappear and looked for her other friends.

 

she found fede and sana just as quick of not faster.

 

they were at the center of the dance floor dancing to their hearts’ desires without having guilt consume them.

 

she knew she should be out there with them but she couldn’t bring herself to get that close to those people.

 

“ you want to be close to someone else tho”

 

lately she’s been thinking in her head far too much to be normal.

 

it might have to do with the one guy who’s gone this far to get her attention since... well ever.

 

again she pushed those thoughts away and looked for the last one of her friends , her best friend: eva.

 

she was having some difficulty finding her , she tried looking for the bright redhead yet she was nowhere to be found.

 

she was starting to get worried and was about to get up and start searching for her when she instead clashed with a strong body.

 

he blocked her view and pulled her into his arms, shocking her to the max.

 

who does this guy think he is?

 

just as she was about to give him a piece of her mind, she smelt it.

 

his cologne said it all, she was safe.

 

she wanted to pull away but she couldn’t ,it felt so right to be in his arms.

 

all these months he was the reason she couldn’t go on dates.

 

not that she was interested anyways.

 

on her birthday he called her and sent her roses along with a bear nicknamed “ faccia da cazzo” after him who said “ sei bellisima cazzo” much to eleonora’s surprise when you press on his chest right where the heart should be.

 

she’s got to say edoardo incanti has become someone she has come to love in her life but she knows she can’t have him no matter how much he or she wants it.

 

all of a sudden the happiness she felt disappeared and was overthrown by the guilt.

 

she remembered silvia thinking she was pregnant, the early stages of her eating disorder and how much suffering for such a sweet innocent girl.

 

she pushed him away and looked into his eyes lightly panting from the proximity between them.

 

after what seems like an eternity , she spoke

 

“ eduardo , you don’t have permission to hug me when ever you want , im not your girlfriend or your friend for that matter.”

 

edoardo had some unreadable look in his eyes before but now he seemed to have a sad longing look in his eyes , the kind that made eleonora want to follow 3/4 of the teens at this party and kiss you senseless.

 

“ anyways have you seen eva? i haven’t seen her in a while and i want to make sure she’s okay.”

 

she got back on track , getting right to the point , making sure to not let his dark stare distract her from her friend’s safety.

 

“ oh of course i have! do you think i would leave my little sister alone at this party as we are going into the new year?!”

 

he almost looked astounded that she thought that but the fond little smile reserved for eva was present all over his face so she knew he wasn’t upset.

 

“ she was with fede the last time i saw her which was about a good 45 minutes ago.”

 

thinking about what they were probably doing was not something i wanted to think about this late.

 

“ don’t worry she was sleepy so he took her to one of the rooms upstairs . trust me if i’m the last person that wants to know about their “ activities”

 

his adorable face became even cute when he scrunched up his nose in distaste and shuddered as if the thought of his best friend and his sister like figure was too haunting to bare.

 

eleonora needed so much self control to not melt right then and there.

 

she wanted to peck his nose and listen to him talking about nonsense forever.

 

but she knew she couldn’t have what she wanted, silvia’s too good of a friend for her to possibly do that.

 

as she was lost in thought , edoardo’s voice cuther thoughts off.

 

“ speak of the devils,”

 

in that moment eva and fede walked out looking energetic as ever and she glanced up at the clock next to them.

 

11:04

 

eleonora couldn’t help it , she smiled.

 

she smiled knowing eva might be happy after what happened with gio a few weeks ago.

 

she knows eva is very sensitive and she has every right to be.

 

so when gio kissed her the day after christmas , she thought they were going to start right where they left off.

 

but then 2 days later she woke up to a post from argentina’s account where gio is kissing her and the caption read : my love.

 

eleonora tried to warn her going to fede wasn’t going to do any good but it turns out she was wrong and she at least seemed happy.

 

and fede has keep his eyes and hands to himself when necessary and knows that eva isn’t some toy he can play with or else there are at least 5 people who will beat his ass if he does otherwise.

 

once everyone is safe and eleonora is sure she won’t find her friends drunk of their minds in an alley somewhere , she goes back to the balcony.

 

once she’s outside, she misses edo’s smell and his warmth too much to be considered humanly healthy.

 

she knew she shouldn’t have let him in , she should have let herself have a taste of something she wants just for it to be taken away from her so fast.

 

she shouldn’t have let him stay all those weekends in her bed when he took his father’s jet to london.

 

she shouldn’t have let him cook her mealsshirtless with no pants on while she wears his soft dress shirts filled with his scent never letting her feel alone.

 

she shouldn’t have let him kiss her , kiss her senseless and kissed her neck and forehead when she needed it most.

 

but she did and now she wants it all back and she knows she can’t so she goes home.

 

because thinking of his hands on her , his lips , is too much to handle without breaking down.

 

she grabs her jacket and hurriedly texts the girls to let them know she started feeling nauseous and need to go home.

 

for them not to worry and that they’ll meet up at their favorite coffee shop at 4 tomorrow because she knows half of them will be too hangover to even walk to the bathroom at 12:00 am.

 

on her walk back home, her mind wanders away form the cold breeze freezing her entire body form head to toe , really wishing she called an Uber.

 

she starts looking up from her shoes to the stars and heck even stars remind her of edo.

 

she grins remembering one of the frequent nights her roommate went to her girlfriend’s place and her having the apartment to herself and edoardo.

 

she remembers the nights in her room staring up at the window in her ceiling with edoardo excitedly but quietly explaining the stories behind each constellation or star.

 

her staring at him hooked on to every single one of his words , proudly staring up at him and even though she should have convinced herself it wasn’t right in that moment she couldn’t , she was mesmerized.

 

they were in their own little bubble in a trance that one may call love.

 

no.

 

that is love.

 

she didn’t even realize there were tears streaming down her face or that she had stopped walking until a car stopped next to her.

 

eleonora was about to run , knowing about these incidents and their outcomes always not being great.

 

when a soft pleading voice stopped her

 

“ amore, i know im the last person you want to see right now for a reason i don’t know about but please let me drive you home, i couldn’t bear losing you to the perverts lurking at this time so please eleonora francesca sava get in my car.”

 

she almost lost it at the word amore but kept her composure and got in.

 

the ride was filled with silence and eleonora briefly looked away from the window to check the clock.

 

11:48

 

about a minute after the car stopped , edoardo looked at her and whispered “ happy new years amore” with a sad smile.

 

she looked out the window seeing her apratment dimly and her heart hurt after being called amore again.

 

since she’s got back she’s only now realized edoardo was only with her for the weekend so there was a slight possibility she wasn’t the only amore in his life.

 

deep down in her heart , she hoped it wasn’t true but it was easier to lie to herself and say edoardo incanti one of the hottest popular guys in school wants to date the “ virgin” .

 

because that’s what she was afraid of , being used again.

 

ironically edoardo snapped her out of her thoughts once more with a question.

 

“ eleonora if you aren’t getting out of my car , can you at least talk to me or pretend i exist for just a second?”

 

a year ago she would have expected the emotion on his face to be fake but no it was all raw emotion .

 

she saw exhaustion , frustration, and sadness in his eyes.

 

all she wanted to do was hug him tight and never let go but she reminded herself it was for the best , she wasn’t the one for him no matter how much she wanted to be .

 

“ you know you can stop pretending you wanted me edoardo. i mean wasn’t london enough not to mention the fact that you hurt silvia and it might be in the past but i can’t lose a friendship or myself for a one sided relationship again. not again.”

 

eleonora’s vision was blurry as her eyes filled up with tears, she told herself not to breakdown in front of him but she failed.

 

when she looked up she expected him to smirk or have some sort of euphoria but he displayed the same emotions as before.

 

“ for a girl as intelligent as you , you would think you’d know when a guy was falling head over heels for you.”

 

he turned around and took her face in his strong hands , caressing her cheeks and wiping the tears cascading down her face like a waterfall.

 

“ look i understand if you don’t want me but don’t try and spare me because i want you and only you. don’t ever think any of the girls in this school can ever compare to the feelings you make me feel,”

 

he took her hand in his and put it towards his chest where his heart was beating and eleonora couldn’t believe she got so lucky.

 

“ this is what you make me feel. you make me feel like a middle schooler all over again crushing on girls who were older and way too good for us , you make me feel nervous and truly happy. you listen and have the cutest little habits that make me want to snuggle you and kiss your forehead at all times.”

 

eleonora couldn’t help it, she let out a giggle.

 

“ see , that’s music to my ears. you have no idea how much i missed you. and before you say we can’t be together , just think about us for once and if it makes you more comfortable, ill be fine keeping us a secret and let you tell silvia on her own time. but personally now that she has a boyfriend i don’t think i matter that much to her.”

 

she loved how free she felt around him , all her wards were down and she always felt at home and safe to be herself and not to mention loved.

 

so loved.

 

so she did the one thing she could think of : she kissed him.

 

kissing edoardo incanti is like eating those childhood sweets her nonna used to make out of passion fruit.

 

so sweet and nostalgic , holding so many memories and feelings in to one kiss.

 

he knows her so well already.

 

he knows she likes to have one hand in his hair and the other gripping his neck.

 

he knows when to take control and when to leave it up to her.

 

kissing him feels like coming back to a home she never missed until it was gone.

 

one she never knew she had.

 

as they parted , panting deeply while managing to steal loving glances at each other , they both look at the clock as it changed from 11:59 to 00:00.

 

edoardo smiled and kissed his way up till her ear.

 

“ happy new years amore”

 

and what a happy new year it will be.

 


End file.
